Creating wonder—and presents!

Holiday edition

Christmas in your twenties can suck.

The music becomes grating beyond cliché, the gift-giving becomes commercial beyond repair, and the core myths become deconstructed beyond comprehension. As a folk songwriter who found his voice right as Christmas lost its luster, I was predictably put off by the idea of writing holiday music. I won’t list my reasons. Just listen to Mariah Carey and you’ll get why a lot of teenage guys don’t connect.

So how does the season of wonder persist when it’s just us and our aging parents? I don’t know if it really does. Not without some sort of kid in the picture.

Kids feed on wonder, and they remind us of its power. The excitement over Santa and presents, maybe paired with a slightly confused reverence for the manger, is contagious. It doesn’t have to come from your own kids, or even the physical presence of kids, though that might be easier. Maybe the inner kid can do it for you.

My inner child re-awoke just a few days before last Christmas. I was staying with family in my hometown of Phoenix, my wife Torrey and I expecting our first daughter. And BOOM it happened. I was all excited again, another Who down in Whoville.

I wrote a handful of songs in just a couple days, ridiculous stories with a layered meaning. One about the holidays as a child of divorce (“Double the Presents”), another about the world doubting Jesus’ deadbeat dad (“Hang in There, Joe”), and so on. I’ve written several more since then and am now, somehow, contemplating recording a full album of strictly original, all-American Christmas songs. Never have I ever.

Still, I’m proud of this particular creative impulse. For me, it feels like confirmation that a developmental shift has taken place, spurred on by having a daughter. Christmas is no longer about consuming wonder; it’s about creating it.

Torrey and I get to create new traditions as part of our own little family mythos. We get to vicariously relive Decembers of old and see new joys we never imagined. We get to revitalize our will to believe and taste its fruit. And yeah, all the bad stuff too. But lots of new presents.

Again, I don’t think anyone needs to have kids or even be around kids to reinterpret Christmas as a season of wonder-weaving. But if you can stand your brother-in-law just long enough to go ice-skating with him and your 10-year-old niece, maybe it’ll crack open the box for you, too.

Finally, before we part ways for the holidays, I wanted to share one other way that I’ve tried to practice my holiday wonder-wandering over the last couple years. Our annual musical Advent calendar, previously confined to Patreon supporters, is back on and now open to supporters here on Substack. Below, you’ll be able to pick your annual holiday gift and hear an unreleased demo of one of those new original Christmas songs I’m so excited about. It’s my way of thanking you for your support this year, which really does make a difference in what I’m able to create—yes, wonder included.

Happy holidays, and a very merry (merry?) Christmas to you and yours.

-J